(song lyric by From Autumn To Ashes)

Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
The one thing that I cannot give.

(Did you ever see that one person
And the way they do these things
And it hurts you so much it's like choking choking choking
Down the embers)

I can give you freedom from your guilt,
With a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.
I can give you death with the look upon my face.

This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
With no last kiss and no regrets;
You don't deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
With no last kiss and no good bye.

Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.

With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen
That you hold in your lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.

(Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down, come down.
I cherish you... I cherish you.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Say you would do the same...
Just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.)

Still so hard to accept the fact that you're gone forever,
Never knew I could hurt like this,
but I wish you a happy life there in heaven,
even though I also still wish that you were here to play with me again.
I was crying all the time,
never be ready to see you off,
now I had to know why I had to lose you for good.
Dear, I wish you were here to show your funny face and kiss me with your mustache and wet mouths, and your rough tongue.
It was really hard and really sad to know this fact,
never knew that it is harder than a broken heart feeling.

God, I hope that You will take care of my cat there,
and say hello from me to her,
tell her to eat, be good, and tell her that I miss her so much.
Tell her also, that she was a good and nice best friend of mine,
I promise I will look after her kittens
Tell her that her kittens miss their small mom as well.

Still can't stand to hold this feeling, hurts like hell.
But I wish I could be stronger,
yes I ain't so strong to go on,
but I'm learning to accept this reality,
and to accept the fact, even though it's so hard.
I wish my cat a happy life now and forever, in heaven
with this sincere heart and soul.

Love you and will always miss you,
Baby aka Makecil aka Jabrik (Rest in peace)
(February 2008 - 27 February 2009)

Having such a terrible feeling, I don't know what to say, how should I feel.
Yes I was so happy because I'll go outside town next week with my mom and dad, but.. Things happen, the fate is so different from what we could have planned. My Grandpa got sick and everything is so blurry inside my mind, I was trying to smile again but it's only at the outside 'cuz each time I remember my mom's words, I keep on crying..

Mom told me that Grandpa said hello to me, he said that "Please send my kiss for Nana and Karim." And suddenly when I heard my mom saying lyk that, I was crying so hard.. I was being so happy to go outside town, start my holiday, and having a new crush.. But, that news make me so shock and don't know how should I feel..

And to be honest, this time I have a really bad feeling, my mom too. All that we can do is just pray and pray. I pray to God, I hope God will listen to me. God, would you please.. if You wish that my Grandpa will recover, then make him feel better 'cuz I really miss his smile and his jokes, but..... if you would say different, please.. just.. keep me strong so that I can accept it sincerely, I mean, all of us..

So please, all my friends who read this post, I beg you to pray also for my Grandpa.. All the best for him and us..
Thank you so much..

Hello, it's been a while since I hav started my first time internship!
I love the job! Even though I don't work based on my studies in my university major (I mean as a marketing person), here in this company I currently helping on the financial matters and also accounting thingies..

Well I find it really interesting hahahaha.. But if I miss write the numbers, could be a disaster, though -__-. Doing accounting is fun, but I hate to take that major in university!! HAHAHAHA..
Oh ya by the way, I'm currently working as a part time internship person in PT Ababil Utama, Travel and tour agent.. So you guys if you wanna to travel outside Jakarta by using planes, just contact me! ^^

Besides my internship, I also currently helping my friends in selling her hand-made dolls. I'm as the agent, seller, owner helper.. and also doing stuff with the web.. Hehehe..
If you guys wanna visit the web or make an order, please visit this:

http://tearsieindonesia.multiply.com
(Indonesian only)

You can contact me also for further information or make an order.. Thank you!

Hi everyone~ yeah just find it too busy with uni life lately, but now I feel a bit relaxed! Yeah! And currently I really enjoy watching DVDs, read books, etc.. Also, modify and filling my new blog: just visit if you wanna~

http://naminamiyo.multiply.com

thanks! and now for the things i currently love!!!

( Hachikuro J-dorama, Mukai Osamu, Twilight and Edward Cullen~ )

The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn’t see you with the sun shining in my eyes
I said “Hello” but you kept on walking
I’m going deaf from the sound of the freeway

The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn’t hear with your voice ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn’t feel you, you’re always so far away

The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn’t see you with the smoke getting in my eyes
I said “Hello” but you kept on walking
I’m going deaf from the sound of the DJ

The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn’t hear with the noise ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn’t feel you, you’re always so far away

I don’t, don’t wanna take you home
Please don’t, don’t make me sleep alone
If I could, I’d only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

The next time I see you, you’ll turn away
I’ll say “Hello” but you’ll keep on walking
The next time you see me, I’ll turn away
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn’t feel you, you’re always so far away

I don’t, don’t wanna take you home
Please don’t, don’t make me sleep alone
If I could, I’d only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

I don’t, don’t wanna take you home
Please don’t, don’t make me sleep alone
If I could, I’d only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

like what my brother always does :)

always care, caring, love
although we fight everyday, every time, never agree in the same words..
although we rarely meet...

and i always complain to him, and he always does it too..

but never know why i love him so much!

just think that he's the greatest brother in this world =)
we have the perfect relationship of siblings hood...

hello world! another review from me, which is a song sang by Riyu Kosaka, which is "Platinum Smile" =D

i lyk this song so much, when the very first my brother listened it from youtube.com, and i also watched it directly ffrom youtube.com ... and then last sunday my brother finally found the mp3 from ... i dunno what the site is ^^;

ok, this is a soundtrack from kamen rider... but i dunno what kind of kamen rider since i don't watch tokusatsu series.. you should listen it, because it's soo nice...and enjoyable =D LOVE this song!! too bad i haven't found the lyric as well... but i'll give u the youtube's link: just listen it!



enjoy~

i've been addicted to him lately! so cool so simple yet so outstanding! wish he were real and he were my boyfriend 8B

but anyway, love him! tee-hee, i love watching jigoku shoujo currently, just to watch ichimoku ren. ok, now i wanna talk about this anime :)

since i didn't watch it from the very first of the first season of jigoku shoujo,, so i don't know much about the details. hmm. but i think this anime is very interesting, because the main characters (which is Enma Ai and her assistants) are the punishers, and some particular people want to stop them punishing peeps.. and taking them to hell.. well, this is anime take another side of look, makes it different from the others anime, but i like so much! for the handsome ichimoku ren as well, makes me feel so eager to watch this anime!

the soundtrack is ok, but i like teh opening sounds only, tee-hee. =D

and here's the picts of ichimoku ren :D

hay everyone! huuf.. still doing this odd final project for the marketing fundamental subject! i need a break!! :(
anyway, currently listening to my new CDs! minutes to midnight by LP and the best damn thing by Avril! soo cool!
( see my review )

kyaaa~ i have watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! DAMN!! perfectly cool and very greeeaaat~

i love all the stars there, especially LUCAS GRABEEL!!!! *histeric*
and the music is also COOL! 8DDDDD really really like this movie!

( high school musical!! lucas grabeel rabuuuuuu )

i just went back from plaza senayan this afternoon...

i bought high school musical soundtrack! yeah!
i wondered if i could buy this cd, becuz reffrain likes this film so much and also the soundtrack, rite yu? XD XD
and also i read the news in the newspaper if this soundtrack cd is the most populer cd in the cd seller, so i wanna buy it and listen to the song!

and yaaay, this is cd is sooo good, the songs are so nice and good to be listened. just buy it cuz u won't regret! ;)
and now i really wanna watch the fil cuz i haven't watch it.. T___T quickly i'll go somewhere to find the vcd or dvd~

[edit]
i've finished watching the chrno crusade series, oh the anime is so sad-ending and heart touching. i feel sorry for rosette, chrno, stella, steiner, and remmington. ;_____; very very sad, i was crying all the time when i was watching the last episode, ;____;

anyway, i'm so addicted to this song from high school musical : when there was me and you.. i like this song very much, this is my favourite song from this album.
enjoy the lyric!

when there was you and me by gabriella
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

:) see ya!

meski belum semua uas terselesaikan, setidaknya 3 mata kuliah yang berat2 sudah. semoga hasilnya bagus dan membanggakan... amin!
gw lagi mau cerita lucu2,, gw ambil dr blog fs gw, hehee yah aga2 jayush jg si, gw alami sendiri, pokoknya gw terlibat dlm cerita2 ini...

( you stiches me! )

hello everybody, happy new year! 8D

such a wonderful nite yesterday, hehehhe

makan-makan
bermain kembang api
minum anggur (yummy)
gosip sama sodara2 ampe dower mulutnya

and i, remember someone there. (or maybe 2 people?)
sampe2 yang satu kebawa mimpi.. ;____;

yaa semoga di taun yang baru ini kita semua bisa makin sukses dan may God bless us always!
yeeah 8D

btw, gw ada 1 pertanyaan, mengapa tahun baru heboh? padahal yang ganti cuman kalender doang! tivi di rumah kita gak berganti jadi mobil khan? xp

too many tears for today i dropped. but those are not for me, for my friends, too many sad stories today!

first of all,
this morning at 7.00 am, i received an sms from my friend, nissa. i got shocked when i read that message. it says :
"nana, there's a sad story, my dad passed away this morning. please pray for him so his soul can rest well, and please inform this to the others. thanks."

my God, but yesterday my friend nissa was with me and the others, sightseeing at the ex plaza, but today? her dad passed away. oh God, this is terribly shocking me.... yesterday she was still laughing, having fun and so on. but today? i went to her house, i met her, and she was crying all the time. she told me that it was suddenly happened.
... i can not say anything to cheer her up, i just said that i felt sorry for her. i'm not good at this, how to cheer somebody up. she ever told me that her dad didn't stay at jakarta, he worked in bali, so he lievd alone at his house there. then last night, her dad was got influenza, then he took 2 pils of medicine then he drank coffee. after that, he got sick.. what can i say it in english? he got "penyumbatan pembuluh darah"... when he walked downstairs, he felt down, then no one knew that he felt down, after his co-worker came to his home and found that he...... had already passed away. he was taken to the hospital... but unfortunetely, it was too late. he passed away.

..........................honestly i'm really sad, even though he wasn't my relative of something, even i had never met him, but...... he's my good friend's dad.. i'm really sorry for her, i was crying too that afternoon, until now, i'm still thinking about my friend and his dad.

God, i only can pray, please receive his soul, and may his soul rest in peace in the heaven. Please forgive all of his sins..

And Nissa, i know how you feel, and i know i don't have any will to say this, but please, cheer up, all of your friends are with you, we will go to your house on friday after the orientation briefing, we are here to cheer you up! :)

teh second is,
my best friend, tirza, has broken up today with his boy friend. finally.. i know that his boyfriend is sucks, or whatever, he is not deserved to be my bestfriend's bf. but i feel sad for my bestfriend, she phoned me this morning, said all of thos things, she cried, she said that she still loves him so much, but if this is the only way that they can do, it's ok... oh i also cried too when i hear her talking to me... yah, maybe it's really hurted, but i believe she will get another boy who is more more deserved as her bf. cheer up cha, and start looking for another one! :)

and finally, today my fujiyuzuru, has experienced her first day at her college, it's kinda sucks y'know after i read her journal. hahahaha dun worry, that's all rubbish, our high school is more more more and more better than your orientation hahahaha! chill up dude, just talk to me whenever you want, i always be here for you if you wanna share something... ok? :)

huaa at last he's back!! i've been missing him for almost one year! yeah all the time that i have spent during this loneliness because he's not in here.... OMG OMG finally he's back! he's here again! brother! so nice to meet you again! *hug-hug*

and i got a pink jacket from him! OMG??! pink?? hiaaa... so girly! hehehe but this jacket is so cool! i like it so much! thanks bro! thanks!! hiaa..... i'm so damn happy! *dance happily in my room*

brooooo.......my happiness are back! back! now i'm not alone anymore in this house! my sibling has come back! nyaa...broo...luv you....

i've graduated from my high school last monday. It's been a long time, i had to wait for 1 month for my graduation announcement! But, all of my sacrifices are not useless, it started from :
- i had to study and study
- eventhoug i was sleepy, i had to study.. (do u remember yuchan? before we face the final exam, i went to ur house and study..and chatting, gossips, ate in your house, i was soo sleepy and tired!)
- whatever, i fotocopied any important notes from my friends..
- i didn't go out from my house after i finished the final exam

that were such a trouble some.. oh gosh, i was thinking that "when will all of this ended? i'm so exhausted! and will i pass the final exam successfully? oh God, please help me.."

Fortunately, God answer my prays, i'm so glad. I've graduated, and my marks are good..Thanks God! and i'm so proud of my school, all of the students are graduated! Yeahh.. we rock!! Thanks for all, the prays, supports, anything!

actually this is an entry for yesterday but i'm typing it rite now, hahaha doesn't really matter!

jadi begini, gw punya temen namanya jundi, sumpe deh orangnya buaik bgt! hahaha.... khan kita bimbel bareng gtu, dan kalo pergi maupun pulang dia suka nebeng gw gtu.
pas kemaren dia mau nebeng gw pas berangkat ke tmp bimbel, gw bilang ke dia :
"ya udah, kita ketemuan di tempat biasa ya, di depan gereja blok s! lo jalan sekarang yah dr rumah lo, bentar lagi gw nyampe jun!"
"oke na, sip. gw jalan yak!"
.....
gak lama, gw nyampe di depan gereja blok s, dan lagi2 ini anak belom datang! (kurang ajar! dia selalu telat!!) gw telp dia, ga diangkat,, terus gw telp lagi yg kedua kalinya, diangkat.
"woiii di mana lo? gw udah nyampe ni!!"
"bentar na... bentar ya! bentar, bentaar!! tungguin!"
"lo di mana si? masih di rumah??"
"iya, bentar na, tungguin yaa, please!!"
"ya udah, buruan dong!"
........

akhirnya setelah gw tunggu selama 10 menit, anaknya muncul juga! langsung aja gw tanya :
"woi, ngapain aja sih lo?"
"maaf nana, maaf!"
"iya, ya udah nyantai aja kali jun... ngomong2.. tadi pas gw telp, lo lagi boker yaa?!"
"ha? ko lo tau sih??!"
"giahahahahaha yah gw taulah, kedengeran kali dr suara lo! lagi gelisah gtu dee"
"wah pinter bgt lo ngeramal na! feeling wanita memang tajam!"
"terus tadi lo abis lari khan?"
"iya, ko tau?"
"tau lah, gimana si, napas lo memburu gtu!"
"wah jago banget dah lo ngeramal na!!"
......

yah kalo gw inget2 ini cuman cerita biasa aja, tapi gw senang aja, lumayan bwt lawakan harian gw, hehehe... kalo gw inget2 sampe skrg, gw terus2an ketawa sendiri gara2 inget kekocakan ini hehehe...

Today, is a bad day again. It's about my very beloved cat, had already passed away.
oh God, if this is the only best way of yours, i believe in you, I admit it. Maybe that's better than if she has to suffering more again...

I'll miss her so much, Eagel, don't forget me..
I'm sorry if i wasn't with you when you are sying, I'm really sorry gel, I really am..
i'm missing her now, i was crying, because i remember her..

Eagel, may your soul rest in peace. And you will meet Kitty again there, say hello from me to her.
I MISS BOTH OF YOU.

EAGEL

wah wah after too much holiday, i dun have any activities except : sleep, go to lesson course place, or online... my mom got angry because i don't do anything that worthness.. hahahahhaaha.. then she told me read any english book.. well i chose to read harry potter 5 (OMG I HAVEN' READ IT!!)... but i guess i don't have any desire to read that book, it's too thick and my father told me to read the english one, or i won't be allowed to have a laptop!! (what such a threat, daddy T_T)... huhuhuhu... BUT why don't i want to read it?? well just wait until i have any desire to read that book.

oh wow, now i'm trying hardly to read my dad's book. The title is "FREAKONOMICS"... nyaaah nyaaah i guess it is more difficult than Harry Potter. Hahahahaha.. i still don't know why i wanted to read that book... ^^;. tonight i have read that introducition chapter.. waaah too many difficult words! makes me lazy to open my dictionary!! but this book is really funny! ^^

first i read the introduction chapter, directly i realized "well, this book is really really freaking one" .. first of all, i read about jouvenil deliquency, and then it jump to abortion, then jump into real estate.. WTH??! so much freaking, right?! hahahahahhahaha.. but it makes me really curious with this book. hope i can read it fastly,, i have much time now! hahaha..